Paris Hilton Break In

Paris Hilton's home was robbed of 2 million in jewerly last night. Paris you are stupid. You should keep your jewerly in the bank.

Haftorah

A-Rod has this week's Haftorah reading at the Kabballah center in Manhattan. Just in case anyone is going.

Big H

You can Get Coke in Lubbock

Who knew you can get coke in Lubbock.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3744701

Big H

Does Urine Clean Out of Couch Cushions

I was watching a Howard Stern On Demand Show with Sandra Bernhard. Sandra was talking about going to Yom Kippur Services at the Kabbalah Center in New York. Madonna was there with A-Rod and they let him hold the Torah up on the bima during the service. I lost it. I have never laughed so hard in my life. I can't imagine A-Rod holding a Torah during the service. At least Sandra is Jewish.

Big H

Obama Scandal Already

It turns out that incoming Chief of Staff Rahm Emaneul does not pay taxes on his million dollar home at 4228 North Hermitage, Chicago IL. I used to live about 6 blocks away. There is a fantastic Italian restaurant around the corner. It is a great neighborhood filed with people who pay their taxes. The home is listed at 2700 square feet built in 1896. The estimated taxes are $12,000.00/year. Rahm and his wife have listed the home as their office for their charitable foundation. Lets not forget that his brother probably the richest Hollywood agent around. The Democrats would go crazy if this guy was a Republican.

Big H

Three Pars

In the past eight months I have golfed over 20 rounds including six weeks of lessons. Today I had a major breakthrough, three pars in the same round. It was awesome, actually I blew two other putts and should have had five pars. I have six bogeys. It was amazing. It was great day. After the game I watched the Texas-Texas Tech game. Which was also amazing. My next post will be about how 12 of the first round draft picks in the NFL will come from the Big 12.

Big H

P.S. To all the naysayers, three pars is a major achievement 27 handicap.

At Some Point You get to Old for Some Names

Jamie Moyer is pitching in a World Series Game tonight. It feels weird calling a forty-six year old man Jamie. Certain names don't seem appropriate after a certain time.

Big H

Clarification Post

I want to clarify that the Jim McManus book is not part of the movie this weekend. I am very sure that the movie will not be within a million miles of the greatness of the book. It is an absolute must read for people who like Vegas or poker, or just great stories.

Big H

I can't believe I will be watching Lifetime this weekend

This Saturday night Lifetime is showing " Sex and Lies in Sin City The Ted Binion Scandal." I have never watched a movie on Lifetime. But this story intrigues me, so what the heck. If you have not yet read Positively Fifth Street by Jim McManus you are missing the best Vegas book since Green Felt Jungle.

I hope he is a cook

The stupidest man ever on the Price is Right ever is a navy man. I hope he is a cook. Check out the video.

Big H

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMCFRElyaCc

"What a Country"

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Scandals?

People are blogging all over the place that the Bristol Palin pregnancy is a scandal. I don't think so. A scandal is when a young man drives home drunk and parks his car in a river and kills a women. A scandal is when a President has sex with an intern. A scandal is when a married man has an affair with a women who works for him. A scandal is when a candidate purchases a home for less than fair market value from a supporter who is a convicted felon. Those are scandals.

Having sex in small town Alaska and getting pregnant is a mistake not a scandal. I am from a small town and several of my best friends found themselves in this exact situation. The haters just need to simmer down and follow the old adage that people who live in glass houses don't throw rocks.

Big H

Barack Obama Can Not Be President

Barack Obama may be ineligible to hold the office of president. He will not produce his Hawaiian Birth certificate and he has no documents that prove the marriage of his parents. It is rumored that he was born in Kenya and then brought to Hawaii. This could get interesting. Where is Hillary on this one???

Big H

I want a job on the 2012 Edwards Campaign

Was there anybody on the Edwards campaign not sleeping with this woman? I officially submit my application for the John Edwards 2012 campaign. I am licensed to practice to law in Nevada which is a second tier battle ground state. I feel that I would make a good addition to the Edwards 2012 team. I can book car rental reservations like nobody's business. Also I would love to enjoy some anonymous sex with documentary filmmakers. Please contact me via this blog for an interview.

Big H

Rants and Raves on Craigslist

My favorite website of late is Craiglist, with the creme dela creme being the Rants and Raves section. This pure comedy gold. The topics trend toward what ever is going on in the news or paper. This week gold medal is the Fake tit posts. People are all over the map on this decisive issue in the world today. The best post is "If the tits are fake, why should the diamond be real" I pulled a rib.

Big H

Obama Western Wall Note Released

Obama left a note in the Western Wall and it was taken and released in an Israeli newspaper. This is total Obama created controversy. His staffers had the student remove the note and get it published. Who believes otherwise.

Obama is afraid that is anti-semitic past will come out and alienate the big money donors. Obama has used churches in Chicago to speak out about Jewish shop owners and business people. Obama also has key people in his organization who beileve Hamas is a polictical party. Most political parties don't have a budget to pay the families of suicide bombers.

Also the note is so self deprecating you know its fake. The text is below. It was handwritten on King David stationary.

Lord,
Protect my family and me. Forgive me my sins and help me guard against pride and despair.
Give me the wisdom to do what is right and just.
And make me an instrument of your will.

Help me guard against pride What a load of BS.
Big H

My Weekend at the Movies

This weekend I went to the movies. On Saturday night I saw Step Brothers with some co-workers. Step Brothers is good, however the jokes are very juvenile, even for the Knocked Up guys. On Sunday I went to Batman. I was only able to watch 15 minutes, the sound kept going out what I saw looked pretty good.

Big H

Economy Looks Good At An Apple Store

The Nation is the biggest recession since World War II. Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae might be bankrupted. But just try to walk into an Apple Store (or Time Machine to 2003/2004). There were 300 people in line at the Apple Store in the Fashion Show Mall on the Las Vegas Strip at 5pm tonight. Thats $660,000.00 in revenue alone (including the two year AT&T contract). Saturday I saw a similar line at Town Square Mall.

Big H

Classic You Tube Video

There is a great video on youtube about a pride of lions attacking a baby water buffalo in Africa. A person on safari got it all on tape including a crocodile who gets into the action. It is amazing. Check out the following link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU8DDYz68kM

Big H

Loss of a Titan

Last week a titan of states rights Jesse Helms passed away. Senator Helms is part of one of my best Capitol Hill stories. As an intern I was able to go on the Senate Floor when accompanying my boss Senator Larry Pressler for votes. During one of those votes, Jesse was in the Senate Cloak room when he got called for his vote.

When a Senator is called for vote, they have to walk down to the well of the Senate and tell the clerk thier vote, but not Jesse. Jesse simply stuck his head out of the cloak room and would give a thumbs up or thumbs down. Who was gonna complain. By the way the vote was for the re authorization of the Presidential Committee on Physical Fitness. Remember the Govenator's ads.

Big H

Lack of Control WTF

The NCAA has issued a new charge against Indiana, due to the actions of Kelvin Sampson, lack of institutional control. I can't believe I was ever excited about Kelvin taking over for Mike Davis. I don't like the feeling on this era. I was excited for Kelvin and I'm so so for Crean since he is a Tom Izzo disciple. There are few things in this world I hate more than Tom Izzo. Tom Izzo woke on third and thinks he hit a triple. But I digress back to Kelvin.

Kelvin was a cheater and he figured that Indiana would hide his dirty laundry like most programs do, but Indiana does do that. The NCAA needs to back off their institutional charge, we turned the cheater in, that shows control.

Big H

John McCain is the Manchurian Candidate

Last night John McCain was on the Jon Stewart Show and quoted Chairman Mao, the quote was "Its always darkest before its totally black." The reverence in his speech and mannerisms is astounding. I have been joking for years that the North Vietnamese programed him during his 7 year stay at the Hanoi Hilton. But last night was shocking. He also talks about Abraham Lincoln, who I believe to be our greatest President, and the reverence is almost half for Honest Abe. The quote is at 3 minutes and 7 seconds of the following clip.

http://www.indecision2008.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=167938

Wikapedia shows that John has been using this quote since 2000. Hmm what was going on in 2000, oh John was runing for President. Chairman Mao died in 1976, which means maybe John heard these quotes in person. Also lets not forget that Mao may have even read the Richard Condon book since it came out 17 years before he died. The movie came out in 1962 and starred old Blue Eyes and the book was even banned in China and other communist states, there is almost no doubt Chairman Mao was aware of the book.

Big H

My favorite Jewish Princess going down

Scarlett Johanson is engaged. It is major loss in the single hot jew category. She is engaged to Ryan Reynolds. I am making the following request to INS. Please deport his ass back to Canada so she gets back on the market.

Big H

Open Letter to Gary Loveman

Gary Lovemnan, CEO Harrahs Entertainment.

Mr. Loveman you just announced that this year's World Series of Poker Main Event will begin July 1st and play down to the final table in the next nine days, then take a four month break and reconvene in November for the Final table. Who gets the interest while Harrahs not only takes money from the prize pool to run the event but are now going to hold sixty percent of the prize pool for four months. I know that many casinos are taking losses right now do to the credit markets and paying for rapid expansion in Macau, but a blatant ploy to make a million dollars on a interest is terrible, what a shame that Harrah's continues to bleed the WSOP for every nickel.



Sincerely,

Big H

Family of Hob Nobbers

The last two days have been full of political hob nobbing for my father and sister. My sister was ringside at the Clinton Obama debate in Philadelphia. My father interviewed Senator McGovern for his blog. All I did was get a Korean Chiropractor to admit he was unqualified to render a medical opinion on carpel tunnel syndrome since he did not go to medical school.

Well back to the salt mines.

Big H

He has already Mentally packed his bags

Bill Self wants "security" from Kansas a school that has only fired one coach since 1898. This security bs is his way of saying I want more money. Kansas should stand firm to his demands. He is getting an offer from a school that is out their mind and are spending some rich old guy's money. Four million a year and six million signing bonus is nuts, is he gonna be the staring forward for the Chicago Bulls. I say give him a little bump to say 2.1 million anymore and let him go to Stillwater.

Now for Billy Gillespie, supposedly he can't stand the limelight at Kentucky and wants to bolt after one season in Lexington. Oklahoma State wants to win as bad and Kentucky and if they are gonna pay out of sight money the limelight will be brighter.

Big H

Hillary doesn't want 43 to go to China

Hillary Clinton wants the Bush Administration to boycott the Olympics because of China's treatment of human rights and the whole Tibett thing. Come on Hillary talk about issues we care about. What effect on any world wide issue does not having a lame duck President attend the Olympics solve. In the last 30 years, we boycotted the 1980 Moscow Summer Games because the invasion of Afghanistan then the Russians boycotted the 1984 Summer Games due to anti-soviet talk. Those two boycotts accomplished nothing. Charlie Wilson solved the Afghanistan issue, and poverty ruined the Iron Curtain. Nothing is accomplished by Olympic Boycotts.

Come One Hill

Big H

New York Politicans and their many women

What's with NY politicians and their inability to sleep with their wives. Current NY Governor David Patterson has admitted to having a three year affair with another women. His defense was it was a bad time in his marriage and she cheated too. He basically called his wife a whore. These guys can't keep in their pants, hell Governor Paterson can't even see his pants.

Big H

It's getting dangerous out there

A kid was shot on the way home from school today in Las Vegas. We have had three school shootings including a dead student in the last month. This is a tragedythat is unexplainable. Except I have a reason. I blame the shitty parents that are raising these kids.

Some would say that I grew up in a place and time was that was very protected, but we had bad kids just like anywhere else and I would bet we had more guns. During hunting season there were atleast 25 percent of all high school boys had a shotgun in the car to go hunting after school.

Herein lies the difference. The difference is I had a father is who sat me down and we talked about gun safety. I also attended Hunter Safety course in Harrisburg, SD when I was twelve years old. My house had three guns in it and by the time I was 15, I had access to all of them. No one ever got shot. If all these kids had parents 1/3 as good as mine our world would be much better off.

Big H

What with these politican's wives

What is with this trend of women standing by their man when the shit hits the fan. Come on Mrs. Spitzer he got caught red handed and has since resigned. Why in the hell does you stand up there with them. It's not like he got caught with the babysitter and you can pay her off. There are bank wires from his account to the pimps and he ordered a girl to take a train to DC. I wonder if he was considering the Mann Act when he asked them to send her down. Normally the johns don't got to jail, but when your previous job was sending pimps to jail, Elliot should get federal time for this.

Big H

Sampson to NBA???

Serial texter, Kelven Sampson, has been spotted on the Spurs side line. Kelven and Spurs Head Coach Gregg Popavich are good friends. This could be a great spot for Kelven think of all the great marketing tie-ins, T-Mobile, Sprint, etc. The only better place maybe driving on the the cellphone sponsored Nascars. Oh by the way the Spurs play at the AT&T Center. Welcome Home Kelven. LOL.


Big H

Never Speak outside the Family

It is very obvious that Kellen Sampson (Kelvin's Son) has never seen the Godfather. Kellen your father is a cell phone addict an just lost one for the top College Basketball jobs in the country. Instead of leave town with him and go back to where ever he's headed you are on the sideline still working as graduate assistant at IU. You need to support your father and quit. IU won't fire you for fear that you'll file a lawsuit. But you dad just got $750,000.00 he didn't deserve, so it's not like you need the money. Gather up what ever dignity is left in your family and leave Bloomington.

Big H

Rich Little Health Scare

I had the privilege of being entertained last Friday night at the Golden Nugget by the "Dean of Impersonators" Rich Little. My father was in town for his annual Spring Break Boys club trip. It was a great show. Over the weekend Rich Little was rushed to Summerlin Hospital with a blood clot in his leg. I hope that he recovers and takes the stage again. Mr. Little was amazing and he was up there at 69 working the crowd and making us all laugh for over an hour. His George Burns impression alone was worth the price of admission. Mr. Little I hope you recover and take the stage again.



Big H

The General goes off into the Sunset

Today is a sad day in the world of College Basketball, the General has hung up his boots. Bobby Knight goes out with 902 wins. Texas Tech should form the exploratory committe right now for his replacement. I know that Pat Knight was the head coach designate, but take a look at Stillwater and you see how that doesn't work. Coach Knight has made Texas Tech a program worthy of a serious headcoach and the postion should be treated as such. To just hand over the program to the Former Coach of the Wisconsin Blast of the IBA or International Basketball Association is a farce.

Big H

Big Win for the Sportbooks

The Las Vegas Sportsbooks will anounce later this week that the "handle" or amount wagered on the Superbowl was near one hundred million dollars and with the favorite losing and a low score the books will have made big money. On top of that in the exoctic wager pools, the Giants scored first, it was a fieldgoal and the Patriots punted first. I would imagine that most everyone's parlay cards went down with that trifecta of events. So they they get the exotic money wagers as well. This is of course combined with a almost capacity crowd at each hotel in town charging 50-150 to just watch the game.

Big H

Rudy Baby What Happened

I can't believe Rudy found a way to screw this up. Our best shot to at a fifty state candidate since Ronald Reagan. I guess it is eerily familiar to Howard Dean's collapse, except without the video. I can only hope that America's new Mayor runs and makes it a three way race.

Big H

The Moment of Truth

The producers of "The Moment of Truth" have recently issued a publicity stunt offer to Roger Clemens to go on the show and answer questions about steroids. The is a better chance that a monkey flies out of my butt before Roger goes on that show. The producers should apologize for attempting to get ratings out of Roger's pain.

Harry